i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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