the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
