i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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