the day after is always just damage control
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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