im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
