Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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