OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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