he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
