drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
