I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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