Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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