Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
