I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
