Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
