Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
