Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
