This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
