I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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