OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
