oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize
