I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
