Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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