Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
