Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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