I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
