I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
