his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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