Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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