So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
