dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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