She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
