I heard we made out
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
