it was like eating out sand paper
Church boner. Awkwardddd
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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