bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
