I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
