im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
