I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
