we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
