i barfeds in our rink
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
