Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
