we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
