i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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