a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
