i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its not stalking. its research.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
