I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
