Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
