Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
