he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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