Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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