it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
